4. The Shield

The Shield (2:43)
Could I have protected you? Could I have shielded you? Could I have kept you from pain? If I knew what to do I would have done it. But I did not know, I could not know. And you must know that if I could, I would have shielded you.

Could I have intervened? I must replay this scene. Was judgment lacking, I don’t know. If I could have seen the future I’d have spared you. I’d have suffered for you, traded places with you, even died for you. If I could, I would have shielded you.

Did I let you know just how much I cared? And do you know I’ll always care? And so, I have to believe you do not suffer. And I wonder now is there something more that I do for you. Oh, can’t you see, I still would shield you.

Are you protected from pain that I now feel, this endless, longing ache for you? Are you spared from this emptiness and sorrow? Maybe one last gift I’ll give to you. I’ll bear this pain, and you will know: Now I am shielding you.

Words & Music-Mariann Adams, Vocal-Mariann Adams, Piano-Sherie Christensen, Violin-Aaron Ashton, Drums-Trent Christensen. Copyright 2003, Mariann Adams. All rights reserved.

4-The Shield (Dedicated to GS, GS, and SS)

This song was written for GS’s family. But, whether dealing with suicide or a parent holding a toddler after an accident, an elderly person holding a spouse after an extended illness, or a serviceman holding a buddy on a battlefield, it is common to wonder if something could have, or should have, been done differently to have prevented the loss. The stronger the love, the stronger the longing. Peace comes from accepting that what could be done was done, and that no amount of “replaying the scene” can change reality. When someone is now at peace, we must also accept peace.